Things God Might Have Said Right After He Created Jerry Falwell

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

1. Haha oh man that was fun. Oh shit, did I just press “send?” Fuck!
2. I wonder if adding a second dash of “absolutely fucking batshit insane” might have been too much. Unlikely.
3. Well, I guess sometimes you just gotta say, “What the fuck.”
4. I’ve made a huge mistake.
5. Oh wait! I was supposed to make him gay.
6. April Fools!
7. Well, you can’t win ‘em all.
8. I sure hope people understand the irony.
9. In my own image my ass, I’m not a stupid fat fuck.
10. It’s ok, they think I’m infallible.
11. This just can’t end well.
12. Jesus, oh man Jesus, come over here you gotta see this one. What do you mean am I serious? Of course not.
13. There, now they finally have proof that I have a sense of humor.
14. I hope he never says, “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals,” cause that would mean I created someone who was a fucking idiot.