Hold Your Horses, They Finally Made a Barbaro Documentary

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Goddamnit! Why is this Barbaro shit still happening?? Last week HBO aired the first Barbaro documentary, entitled "Barbaro." For the love of god stop this shit. The first line of the New York Times review is: "Caution: Tears will flow." FALSE. Barbaro was a horse. He tripped, broke his leg, and was then executed because the family that owned him didn't want to pay for his upkeep any longer. Now, show me where the tragedy is. The real tragedy is that this documentary was made.

Now, let's just assume that the entire production cost for this documentary was about $100,000, which is a pretty conservative estimate, especially for an HBO documentary. After DVD sales and other commercial activity, let's assume that movie brings in another $100,000, which again I think is pretty conservative. That means the total amount of money involved in the film is about $200,000. Don't you think $200,000 could be spent more wisely than on a fucking horse? Now, think about this. According to the Doctors Without Borders website, for $50 you can buy crucial, life-saving vaccines for 50 people. That means that for the $200,000 spent on the Barbaro documentary, we could have given 200,000 people vaccines that they needed. Let's assume that even 1/4 of these people die, because they don't get these essential vaccines. That's 50,000 dead people. That blood is on Barbaro's hooves. But wait you say, Barbaro is dead, how could he have done this? Well, we have a name for people that are dead and yet still kill others: zombies. I've seen "Dawn of the Dead" so I say we take this whole Barbaro thing and shoot it in the fucking head and let it die once and for all. Amen.