From the Archives: Top 15 Things You Never Want To See Your Roommate Doing

Thursday, August 17, 2006


1. Crying
2. Masturbating
3. Crying and masturbating
4. Crying and masturbating to pictures of you
5. Crying and masturbating to pictures of you that he took while you were sleeping
6. Crying and masturbating to pictures of you that he took while he thought you were sleeping but really you were awake and extremely uncomfortable (just don’t do it again Will)
7. Doing it again
8. Eating a puppy
9. Claiming it was for Chinese new year
10. Reading the Map of Love
11. Feasting on the flesh of the living
12. Massaging your scalp looking for your horns
13. Burning a cross at the head of your bed “to get better lighting”
14. Dropping a 9/11 joke
15. Being pissed off that you dropped a 9/11 joke.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know how you said you have a hard-on for Jesus? I have a hard on for this chubby guy. I want to stick my prick-prick under his armpit/breast fat.

-Droms

Anonymous said...

SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS! MY EYES! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll be going now. I only hope Lysol will somehow be able to remove the image of this guy that's been burned into my suffering retinas.

 
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