Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Like every other campus publication of note at Georgetown, the Heckler is here to bring you our 212th-annual basketball season preview, only in blog post form. We have the analysis and insight you can't find anywhere else. First, let's look at our starting line-up this year:
Eric Cusimano
Georgetown's original male cheerleader is back for another season of Hoya hoops. Who is Eric Cusimano? You may notice him giving campus tours around in his cheerleading outfit, and you'd be right to think he's the perfect embodiment of Georgetown: When I was in Winston-Salem, NC for the second round of the 2007 NCAA Tournament, he mentioned to me, without prompt, that he wanted us to beat Boston College because he didn't get in when he applied there the year before. "I'm not sure I would admit that so freely," I said, "but how did you get into Georgetown and not Boston College?" "Maybe because my parents both went here," he answered. With two years of experience under his elastic belt, look for Cusimano to drop a few more girls, obnoxiously yell and beat his chest for no apparent reason more often, and be even more unaware of what's going on on the court this season.
Verizon Center Court Guy
That guy with the glasses and Georgetown windbreaker who runs the contests on the court during timeouts and half-time may have already killed himself, but if not, look for him to accidentally trip a couple of children during Dress Like a Hoya, ask a couple Jiffy Lube trivia questions that are not the ones displayed on the jumbotron, and secretly give Capitols tickets to a hot girl who chose the letter with no prize in it in StubHub Deal or No Deal.
Dance Contestants
Don't get distracted by the babies that are being forced to dance or the adorable toddlers that are dancing poorly. There are only four real contestants: alum with beer who looks like Eugene Mirman, two giant black guys who sit at the end of the courtside seats by the pep band, and Amadou Kilkenny-Diaw's little brother. The kid is the only one who's very good, so look at him to clean up this year, though he may win fewer contests because he's older and less of a novelty. The other three will win some contests, based on their charm alone.
Person in the Jack Suit
As the real mascot has only seemed to get better as he ages, the fake person-in-a-suit mascot has gotten worse. Last year, for some reason, there was a new head that looked like some sort of cat head. Worse, it seemed to change every game early in the year whether the old head or the new one would be worn. Also, the mascot was inexcusably short and reportedly once used pom-poms with the cheerleaders. From what I've seen at football games this year, the person isn't doing anything that offends the tradition of the mascot, except perhaps walking around with pumpkin pie filling staining it at one game; mostly, the mascot has just been boring.
Mountaineers
Go home!
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