Hoya Ed Board Endorses Sophomore MSB John McCain Dadaists for GUSA

Friday, February 20, 2009

Last year's Hoya Ed Board struck the correct note in their GUSA endorsement:

GUSA is a joke. A tragically, hilariously, hyperbolically, theatrically side-splitting joke. A joke whose punch line we will never fully understand.

Correct. But this year's Ed Board is not going to give up the enormous power they have to pick a GUSA president so easily:

About a year ago, the editorial board of The Hoya (then differently composed) offered an answer of its own — not much.

OOOH! BURN! BURN! ED BOARD FIGHT! ED BOARD FIGHT!

Then differently composed. BAM! Take that, old Ed Board! You want to go, old Ed Board?! Huh? You think you can just call GUSA a joke and undermine the goose bumps we get interviewing GUSA candidates and arbitrarily picking a pair of them?!

Vitamin Water drinking contest.
ICC 116.
6:45 P.M.
Monday night if you guys don't have a midterm to study for or anything.
OLD ED BOARD, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!

As much as I love the hilarious intrigue of a Hoya Ed Board fight (hold my North Face fleece, Marissa, it's time last year's Ed Board meets Mr. Old Pocketknife My Grandfather Gave Me), we have to move on to the endorsement:

Calen Angert (MSB ’11) and Jason Kluger (MSB ’11).

Okay, despite this Ed Board TRYING TO DENY THE GLORIOUS CLASS OF 2010 A GUSA PRESIDENCY OF ITS OWN, there is admittedly one good part of their platform:

They also aim to enliven extracurricular life on campus by asking the GUSA Senate to devote half of the $60,000 GUSA budget to a “Georgetown Fund,” which would enable student groups to host events that SAC couldn’t or wouldn’t fund.

Hey, maybe then we could have Heckler parties besides that one earlier this year that quickly became too crowded and everything, but actually, this funding thing will never fucking happen.

But let's move on to the real reason the Ed Board picked them (depsite, of course, the MSB and FUCKING SOPHOMORES TRYING TO KEEP 2010 FROM A GUSA PREZ biases):

Both men know student government well. Angert has served in the GUSA Senate and as secretary of student life in the GUSA Executive Cabinet ... Kluger has served in the Executive Cabinet as director of advertising, and has helped to organize successful events like “May the Best Man Win” (a panel discussion and subsequent presidential debate watch) and an Energia lecture.

I don't think these positions seem very impressive, and I don't remember that election thing happening. Or what the hell an "Energia lecture" even is. Neither of them turn up anything in searches of the archives of my Georgetown e-mails for the past year, so I call bullshit. But anyway, you were talking about experience?

Angert and Kluger’s experience in student government will prove valuable if they are elected. On the national political scene, outsiders are often welcome; in student government, however, we believe that experienced leaders with the skills necessary to meet achievable goals are ideal.

YES! They just basically said that Obama was okay to become the leader of the free world with little experience because, you know, the ability to handle the U.S. presidency pales in comparison to the skills needed to run GUSA. What?!

And the editorial ends:

They are ready to lead, and we endorse their candidacy.

Ready to lead... Ready to lead... Where have I heard that one?



Oh right.

McCain-Palin-Angert-Kluger '09. COUNTRY FIRST.

Ed Board, please go back to writing syllabi for wine-tasting classes.


Also, on a side note, look at their abomination of a campaign video:



Classic MSB creativity! (Our MSB readers, uh, you're cool, though. Really. Just don't go making a collegey homepage web-portal thing.)

Now, it's pretty unoriginal for you to just change around the words of that viral Lonely Island dick-in-a-box video to suit your GUSA campaign, but the winning campaign two years ago weren't comedy writers, and they were at least able to kind of sing their own song without it sounding like a cross between an Alban Berg opera and a bad American Idol audition. But it's very, very unorginial, though highly business-minded, to try to do the same thing with the most recent polymorphously perverse Lonely Island video, which seemed like it just became sort of viral because media outlets assumed it had to be another dick-in-a-box thing, and they would have to report on it one way or another.

Angert has even used this ripped-off idea as evidence that he is not a Pat Dowd Manchurian Candidate (McCain!).

The best part of this video, though, is this comment underneath it:

darktrinity1911 (1 day ago)
This video sucks. Poor audio quality, poor candidates dancing like douches.

And the candidates', shall we say, douchey reply:

calenandjason (1 day ago)
haha you're right darktrinity we will do a much better job representing the student body than we could ever do dancing

haha ed board you're right ready to lead country first haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha


NEW HECKLER ISSUE SOMETIME MONDAY. I PROMISE. PROBABLY.