Dried Up Semen

Friday, September 19, 2008

(Our GUSA administration, moments before a coked-out jizzing)

In between congratulating themselves for reflecting on how racist they are, in today's issue of The Hoya, the ed board tells us that Juicy Campus is a "cancer," but "projects are already in the works to stop the spread of the Juicy infestation!" Hooray!

Though the ed board endorses a "boycott" of the website that is going to kill us all, it also applauds those who would like to censor it. Really?
I understand why Pat Dowd wants to block Juicy Campus from university Web connections. Just look at this. Now one might say, that's just some baseless name-calling that any adult with any degree of emotional stability and self confidence would get quickly let go. And you'd be right. So I guess them trying to ban us from seeing this information means it must be true.

That's right, folks: James Kelly uses poop for lube, he's an idiot transfer; he has a crooked, short, uncircumcised penis that smells like chicken tika masala and onion rings; he is a cokehead; and, of course, James Kelly's hair isn't gray, it's Pat Dowd's dried up semen. This may sound hard to believe, but apparently, it's all true.

I really, really hope Juicy Campus does not get blocked. Not because it's not a piece-of-shit stupid website, which it is. But 1) this is a Catholic school, and as soon as you open the door to blocking websites, freshmen are no longer going to be able to gather in the room of someone on their floor and watch a horse fuck a man to death. And 2) people around here really need to gain some skills for the real world, like being able to handle petty name-calling.

And as soon as we ask the administration to protect us from ourselves on the Internet, you're just opening the floodgates for these people to "protect us from ourselves" in other areas.

A little while back, I made a post about myself on Juicy Campus. The first reply was "LOVE THY NEIGHBOR," which is hilarious, of course, because I was loving my neighbor as myself, because I was talking about myself. The second reply was "agreed. dude is a total closet ass pirate." Now, I do not actually go around the small enclosed rooms of this university raping and pillaging our gays, but I decided to let it be.

Grow a pair, Georgetown. And use that pair to jizz on James Kelly's head, or, like I do, fuck every guy on campus as if it's your personal mission.