Letters to University Administrators: Blue Cup Redux

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

As always, if the administrator responds, we will post it.


Let's skip with the pleasantries. A year ago, when the nation was gathering together to celebrate Patriot Day, I sent you a letter about blue cups, blah blah blah. Things didn't go well last year for the Georgetown University Soft Drink Society (GUSDS). Once again we were turned down for SAC funding, and when you didn't return my letters about the blue cups, the board began to see me as a weak leader, and a rebel group led by Paul tried to wrest control, in violation of the GUSDS Constitution, the accepted stance of the National Collegiate Soft Drinkers Association, and the good will of soft-drink lovers across the nation's capital. I was able to keep my position, expel Paul, and force the other insurgents to drive up to his house in Connecticut and hang a white sheet stained with grape juice in the big oak tree in front of his family's porch.

I am stronger than ever before.

Obviously, you felt some degree of fear in responding to me last year, but please remember that, despite my power as president, I am just a student like anyone else. I noticed that the blue cups quietly returned, and in turn, you have been allowed to keep your job as Beverage Director up to this point.

However, we again have a problem. Every time this year I eat lunch in the "Down Under" section of Leo's (more commonly known among students as "Leo's Australia") at your restaurant called The Diner, which is to say every day I eat lunch, I have yet to see the blue cups. This is an abomination.

And at this point, I'm about ready to call it racism. Just kidding. You assumed I was a black person because I always eat in The Diner when in fact I just like eating unhealthy food and want to be near it at all times. Shame on you. Stop reading The Hoya.

Just bring back the blue cups, no questions asked, and my group will forget the whole thing happened. I assume you like your position as Food and Beverage Manager and would like to continue to manage providing food and beverages to your children. We hope for the same.

Yours again,

Jack Stuef
Georgetown University Soft Drink Society


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