Thursday, August 21, 2008
Hot on the heels of that Public Safety Alert comes a message from Rocky DelMonaco, Todd Olson, and Jeff Van Slyke. Who are these people, freshmen ask? Well, from the looks of things, they're shaping up to be sort of like that Batman—Commissioner Gordon—Harvey Dent trinity, except evil. Perhaps someone will be the Joker and eventually force them to compromise their morals and do something good for the students? My money is on DelMonaco to crack first, even though his name is Rocky, and even though Olson does not seem like he would be, you know, brave, if things got heated.
So what do we have in this e-mail? Well, it looks like Van Slyke is looking to replace our lovable bumbling DPS officers with "highly-qualified" killing machines as his first project. I guess that's not so bad. I mean, DPS officers aren't armed, so... Oh, he's giving them all nightsticks and pepper spray? Well, some students will probably end up in the hospital, but it's not like he's giving them AK-47s so... Oh, yeah. That thing. Well.
It's looking to be a good year for Heckler satire, at least.
I guess it's not exactly an AK-47. The one Van Slyke wants to use on students is green!
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